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View Full Version : Taking the Pee - a copy of a news article that is quite funny


advancedflea
04-28-2003, 02:47 PM
Taking the Pee

The fountain of youth and vitality may be closer to hand than you think

No, They are not taking the, Erm, Mickey – Some stars genuinely believe that drinking your own urine is good for you.

Like fashion and music trends, Health crazes tend to come and go., but it seems urine therapy is in Vogue once again as celebs like Michael Jackson, Rolf Harris and Keith Richards are said to be among those lapping it up.

And even though she draws the line at drinking it, Anna Friel swears by the benefits of rubbing urine on her skin.

An obvious plus to utilizing urine is that its portable, free and readily available.

But why would you want to drink liquid your body is throwing out – a liquid you’d normally flush down the loo? Well, Urine therapy fans reckon wee isn’t a waste product. Instead, they believe it’s a powerful concoction of vitamins, minerals and medicinal molecules that can help fight flu. Skin problems, cancers and help you stay young.

How ever there are no side-effects, those wishing to drink there own urine shouldn’t be rushing to the kitchen to get a glass just yet. Jim Crawford, a 43-Year-Old personal trainer from Manchester who drinks urine every day has some tips for the novice tinkle tipper.

“You should collect urine midstream in a clean cup” he says. “Always use FRESH urine, especially if taking internally”

“THE LONGER YOU DRINK IT, THE BETTER IT WILL TASTE”

And the good news for novice quaffers is, the longer you drink your urine, the better it will taste, Claims Jim. “The body cleanses its self via the liver, Bowles, Skin and lungs – not via the kidneys, as most people wrongly believe.”

“If it tastes horrible it’s a reflection of the condition of your blood. Really it should taste very Mild, Very Pleasant, Not overly salty or too watery.”

“The more you try urine therapy, the more you’ll notice your urine changing. It will become nicer, smoother, not bitter or horrible at all.”

But if the thought of swallowing your own wee is too much to stomach, you can still enjoy the benefits by rubbing it into the skin.

“Aged urine is great for skin conditions, from three days onwards to ten-days old is fine” adds Jim.

But if you start wiping wee on your self, wont you end up a smelly Billy-no-mates? Somewhat surprisingly…No. The composition of urine means, when placed on your skin, any ammonia whiff is neutralised by your body.

So there you go – Literally! Whether you dab it or sip it, urine is good for you – it just takes a wee bit of courage!

ZelRiptha
04-28-2003, 03:23 PM
Oh my, gives a whole new meaning to "have a pee"...

ZelRiptha
04-28-2003, 04:25 PM
I wonder 'bout this sage advice,
whether taken quite hot or with ice.
The tinct on the tongue
while more pleasant than dung,
such recycling must come at a price!

ZelRiptha
04-28-2003, 04:39 PM
For off of the cuff,
your stuff's more than fluff.
Is it more than a bluff,
or is once not enough?

Your styles hints of rap,
(though oft such is crap).
Perhaps with some scrap,
you'll get us to clap.
Yeah clap.

*claps*

You do look quite tough,
but hard by the scruff
will you get if you're rough
with our damsels in buff.

*mouth drums*

Booyah!

advancedflea
04-28-2003, 04:40 PM
why the hell are you talking in verse??

ZelRiptha
04-28-2003, 04:43 PM
Why the hell not?
Are your knickers in a knot?
Is your nose dripping snot?
Are your teeth set to rot?
Does this thread have a plot?
Is this only your spot???

I wonder...
(with great thunder).

:D

ZelRiptha
04-28-2003, 04:58 PM
*flexes muscles*

*makes Dr. Seuss face*

Go, Dog, go!

ZelRiptha
04-28-2003, 05:03 PM
If you're having a drink,
don't make a stink.
You'll be on the brink
of another think...
comin'...
comin'...
comin'...

Oohh yeah.

This dog's got some bite,
his rappin' is tight,
if he tries he just might
soar right out o' sight!

*howls*

ZelRiptha
04-28-2003, 05:20 PM
It's good indeed to find a note,
about it you're allowed to gloat,
don't let excess escape your throat,
lest your own voice thus fair demote.

But don't on this start pulling hair,
or if you've nought but skin up there,
your fingernails give way to bite,
and chew them off in dreadful blight.

It's all okay I'm quick to say,
you needn't worry 'bout this today.
But the morrow's woe is sure to bring
some equally disastrous thing!!

Oh, oops, lost my rap into some quasi-Longfellowish crapola...

It's a go, it's a go,
go kiss yo ho,
don't cry no mo,
you're fine fo sho.
You be fine, fine, fine, fine fo:
evamo
evamo
evamo
evamo.

jeaniesing
04-28-2003, 05:33 PM
*and this is how laughter in itself becomes an aerobic exercise!!!!!*:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

xj911
04-28-2003, 05:37 PM
Hold the golden shower please...nasty friggin drug wasted idiots

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 04:52 AM
Originally posted by Nath
boyaaaa *gives xj a golden shower*

eww! :barf:

Si
04-29-2003, 05:22 AM
I worry about Nath.....

Elven
04-29-2003, 05:33 AM
you too? (sigh)

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 07:26 AM
Yeah, nath, see a mental health specialist! :)

Elven
04-29-2003, 07:36 AM
now Flea...be nice.

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 07:39 AM
Originally posted by Elven
now Flea...be nice.

I was :) I am never nasty :thumbsup:

Elven
04-29-2003, 07:41 AM
I'll have to check with Santa on that one.

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 07:44 AM
he he he. *evil laugh* he will tell you I'm allways nice

*turns round to santa and aims sworn off shot gun at santa*

Wont you!!

Elven
04-29-2003, 07:50 AM
*lays into Flea with her whaledone knife* Thanks for giving me a reason to lopp of one of yer arms. :evil:

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 07:52 AM
ow! my arm! *grabs place where arm was to stem the bleeding*

Siii! Help! :'(

Elven
04-29-2003, 07:57 AM
It's ok. You have another one. *smirk* Oh shoot! I wonder if this qualifies me for the nauhty or nice list? i saved Santa but I nearly killed dear Flea. *uses Elven Magic to restore Flea's arm.*

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 07:59 AM
*watches arm re-materialise where it was*

Elven
04-29-2003, 08:00 AM
consider that a warning punk. ( ;) )

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 08:02 AM
can you do that to some other people around college for me? :)

Elven
04-29-2003, 08:04 AM
...I can just see the headlines.....

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 08:09 AM
"naked elf kills all gits at City of wolverhampton college (http://www.wolverhamptoncollege.ac.uk)" lol

Elven
04-29-2003, 08:12 AM
Originally posted by ZelRiptha
For off of the cuff,
your stuff's more than fluff.
Is it more than a bluff,
or is once not enough?

Your styles hints of rap,
(though oft such is crap).
Perhaps with some scrap,
you'll get us to clap.
Yeah clap.

*claps*

You do look quite tough,
but hard by the scruff
will you get if you're rough
with our damsels in buff.

*mouth drums*

Booyah!

damsels in buff? I think I know who he's talking about. ;)

Elven
04-29-2003, 08:14 AM
Originally posted by advancedflea
"naked elf kills all gits at City of wolverhampton college (http://www.wolverhamptoncollege.ac.uk)" lol


hehehe.

Naked lithe bodied humanoid creature slays all gits at City of Wolverhampton College wielding a bloodstained whalebone knife.

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 08:15 AM
horaaaaay! :thumbsup:

Si
04-29-2003, 08:16 AM
Originally posted by advancedflea
Siii! Help! :'(

After 4 night shifts I'm off duty. You're on your own mate.

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 08:16 AM
horaaaaay! :thumbsup:

Elven
04-29-2003, 08:18 AM
S'ok SI. i already took care of it. ;)

advancedflea
04-29-2003, 08:20 AM
yeah, she came nice to me! :)

Rogue_LeBeau
08-23-2003, 06:22 PM
Aww, I was actually kind of enjoying ZelRiptha's poetry. Why'd he stop? It's not like we're still on topic anyway...speaking of which, people are desperate if they're puttin' their own wizz on themselves...or drinking it. Now, I can understand drinking your pee if you were stranded on a boat--with a cup--with no fresh water and surrounded by salt water with only food and no hope of escape...et cetera.

ZelRiptha
08-23-2003, 11:13 PM
Oh my. Another "They deleted all Nath's posts so it looks like Zel's talking to himself" thread...

;)

I'll be glad to supply more poetry though... :D

(When it's not so late...)

Elven
08-24-2003, 12:09 PM
Originally posted by ZelRiptha
Oh my. Another "They deleted all Nath's posts so it looks like Zel's talking to himself" thread...

;)

I'll be glad to supply more poetry though... :D

(When it's not so late...)

oh...hehe..:laugh: So you've experienced that too eh? I seem to recall a certain thread that made me look like quite a loony bird. :p But then again even when I'm NOT talking to myself most people take me for just plain nutz. Ask Flea. ;) he'll tell ya.

advancedflea
08-25-2003, 06:28 PM
you dont need a specific thread for YOU to do that though ;)

Elven
08-26-2003, 05:35 AM
Originally posted by advancedflea
you dont need a specific thread for YOU to do that though ;)



see? SEE? What did I tell you? :rolleyes:

J_iceman
08-28-2003, 12:01 PM
thats just freakin sick, "lets all pee and make a pee cake:-P......sick
if peee is good for you......lets just use it instead of water???? cool. we can finally save some water for the fisheees:-P

before you know it.....
(2016) its ok to eat your dung with catsup......pee anyone??
~i'm thursty...can i have some of your pee??
~to make this beautiful cake you will need about 4 cups of pee...
~hey, lets see how many pee you can drink...my buddy drank 9 cups
~pee-on-us .....where kids can get fee piss:-P
~pee-moble .....its for people who cant pee and have the pleasure to drink pee
~get your pee right here, buy one get one free
~best results if you drink pee in 4 days
~so do you want coke, sprite, piss?

advancedflea
08-28-2003, 02:39 PM
Originally posted by Elven
see? SEE? What did I tell you? :rolleyes:

what? you asked me to vouch...I vouched :)